A-Z of #Dog Rescue: The Trust Quadre — #AtoZChallenge

Throughout this series, we’ve been throwing around the word trust like a pinball. Getting the dog to trust you is, after all, the cornerstone of rescue. So maybe it’s time to talk about what trust means to a dog—and how you go about getting into their good, trusting, graces.

#atozchallenge 2016 Theme Reveal: The A to Z of #Dog Rescuing

There are so many misconceptions about rescuing. So, so many...

The truth is that most people don't know what rescuing really is. Or what it takes. (Or what it gives.) And most rescuers rarely talk about it. After all, most of us prefer animals over people.

Agility (and Animal Welfare Awareness) Day @ Wilhelminaplein!

I won't try to catch up all at once with everything that's happened in the last — whoa, 11 months! (Has it really been—? Yes... yes, it has. And I'm sorry for that. I love this blog.) I'll start with last weekend and — maybe, slowly — work my way back to some highlights.

So. This past weekend.

I-Animal (an animal welfare organization here in Curaçao) had its yearly Animal Day celebration at Wilhelminaplein — an open space, kind of like a city square, in Punda (downtown Willemstad) — and we were invited to join the agility run hosted by Yuka's Hondentraining. It was free of charge, geared to demonstrate the potential any dog, regardless of breed or previous training, has for conquering the agility course — and the fun they have while doing it.

More importantly, I think, it's a great way to prove Cesar Millán's point about training humans (and rehabilitating dogs). Any sort of "dog" training is, at its core, a way to establish (or, ideally, deepen) the bond between human and dog — and the agility run is a fantastic way to demonstrate it.

Out of the seven-pack, I chose to come with Duncan... For several reasons, which I can get into at length for another post, but in short: he's not the best-behaved (so the training would benefit him and me) but not the worst, either (so I could feasibly be setting him up for success); he's also really food-oriented (unlike, for instance, Sam), which makes everyone's life easier. But, mostly, I chose Duncan because we have a bond. A good, strong, special bond.

Bond which would be put to the test.

Keeping It Real (#atozchallenge)

At the beginning of the week I argued that frustration is the root of all evil, but I think I've changed my mind. It's expectations.

Think about it. What causes disappointment? Unmet expectations. What ruins relationships? Unaligned expectations.

Unrealistic expectations.

Unexpected joy.
Nothing like it.

I can remember dozens of moments of unexpected happenings that gave me incredible joy. But I can't think of a single instance where having expectations--not ambition, mind you, or dreams, or goals; expectations--has ever resulted in me feeling good. Expectations beget sulking.

It's my birthday. Why didn't you bring me breakfast in bed?

And if the guy/gal did, then it's Why didn't you bring a long-stemmed rose with the tray? That's what I bought that miniature vase for, you dimwit.

And if the rose was brought, then But it has thorns. Didn't you learn that you never ever give a rose with thorns? Don't you know that it means (whatever the language of flowers say it means)?

Expectations, by their very nature, create dissatisfaction.

This is Romy & her mom.
Her story makes Cinderella's look mundane.

And who wants to live unsatisfied?

Look at your dog. No expectations. Hope, yes. They live in hope; eternal, undying hope. But s/he is happy--satisfied--with whatever you give. Sure s/he wants you to come home, but when you do, even if it's three AM, the joy at seeing you is never marred by a sulk. If you forget to feed him/her, s/he won't hold it against you for the remainder of his/her life. S/he's doesn't expect you to produce food, and every time you do, s/he's amazingly happy--and grateful--that you did. And if you don't, no hard feelings.

(Which makes you feel, of course, all the more guilty and horrible for being six minutes late with dinner.)

Expectations are the enemy of gratitude. And forgiveness. And those... Well, they're the key to bliss.

Thanks for the visit. Your comments make my day :)

Happy A-to-Z-ing!

Common Ground (#atozchallenge)

"Dog training" is a misnomer. It makes one think that it's the dog that's going to be trained.

In fact, it's the human.

Good human. I knew you'd get it eventually.

The dog's going to learn all sorts of nifty tricks, but the human... The human's outlook on life will go through tectonic transformation.

What dog training achieves is communication. Effective, two-way communication.

Surprised? Your dog won't be. For him/her, you've been communicating all along (body language, remember?). Not very efficiently, but communicating nonetheless. If you listen closely, you might hear a sigh of relief (finally! this human is getting it!). But surprise? Amazement? No. Dogs don't underestimate us.

We, on the other hand... Well, it's understandable. We headed over to our neighborhood trainer for housebreaking chew-it-all issues and all of a sudden--ohmygod, the dog speaks! And listens! He understands us! And we can understand him!

See, what these "dog" training sessions do is help us establish a common ground. Because there is no possibility for effective communication without a common ground.

Double OK sign means "I want to stay down here
forever." (Yes, that's me.)

Have you ever visited a foreign country whose language you didn't speak? Or imagine that proverbial scenario of the (friendly) alien landing in your backyard. Sign language, you say? Unless the signs mean the same thing to both of you, you might be getting into worse trouble.

Example: for pilots, a thumbs-up sign means OK. For divers, the sign for OK is a circle with thumb and forefinger. Thumbs-up means, literally, UP--which creates misunderstandings, some funny, some life-threatening, between a pilot and his dive instructor.

Without going to foreign, or alien, or underwater, or 30-mile-high extremes, finding common ground for communication--even though it seems like, well, common sense--is something we too often fail to do. Every individual in our small, daily world has a unique language, a unique background that shapes the way they express themselves.

Failure to accept this is what leads to prejudice.

Without a trainer to interpret for others--and for us--it's up to each one of us to make the effort. Listen. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't assume everyone uses words in the same way we do, or with the same intentions.

Let's make sure we find, at least try to find, that common ground. Before getting angry or hurt at what someone says.

Beggin' You Please (#atozchallenge)

Ah, Benny. It's so hard to say No to that face.

Dog training is based on a simple concept: reinforce the behavior you want.

Dog sits, dog gets treat. Behavior reinforced.

Simple.

(I can hear all you dog owners laughing already.)

Here's my scenario every morning at the patio doors: seven furry babes ("babes" that on average weigh 20kg) clamor to get in. Against the glass doors.

Instinct takes over. I run to get the door open before someone breaks that glass.

Next morning, same thing. The one after that? Mm-hmm. And it doesn't take Cesar Millan to help me figure out why.

I'm reinforcing the behavior. I'm telling my dogs that the key to getting inside as fast as possible is to jump against the (glass, dammit) doors. Oh, see the human run! It works, guys! One more time, everybody together!

Training doesn't only happen from human to dog; this here's a great example of dog-to-human. You don't like me banging against this transparent thing? Well, then: HURRY UP. That's it, good human. I'll stop the banging now.

Kids--newborn babies, teenagers--do this to their parents all the time. Adults do it to each other. It's conditioning, a kind of Pavlov response; that's how all us animals learn about controlling our universe.

And we keep on doing it. Consciously or otherwise.

Which is why it's a good idea to take a look at the conflicts in our lives and ask ourselves if maybe, just maybe, there's a bit of conditioning at work here. What behaviors do we reinforce in others--and in ourselves? What behaviors do others reinforce in us? What do we reward? How do we reward it? Are we absolutely sure that we're reinforcing the behavior we want?

Or are we racing to open those glass doors?

Must-Have on a dog lover's shelf

Have I told you about this book?

I can't believe I haven't. (Then again, this blog is waaaay behind on posts.)

This book gave shape and substance to my understanding of dogs. It's beautifully written, and the photos illustrate the points perfectly.

If you're a dog lover, if you've observed dogs, 100% of this will ring true. You'll find yourself going, "Ah, so THAT'S what that means."

Welcome to the beginning of a two-way conversation with your dog.